Saturday, 19 January 2008
Que Sera Sera
Been some time since I last blogged...sch is fine and gd so far...will get real busy when proj commence...
New Year is coming again...suddenly somehow i recall both of my grandpa passed away near new year and nxt wk i would b gg to e temple for my paternal grandpa's anniversary...time flies...years passed...to be honest, i dunno how long it was...perhaps in my mind, i refuse to think abt it coz it nv fails to sadden me when i tot of it...
actually i was closer to my maternal grandpa...it was painful to lose him but then it hurts to see him in tubes too...did i regret? i shld hv prayed for him to tide through e ordeal like how i prayed during his first admittance to NUH...i din coz it was too much of a responsibility for me at that time...he would hv lose the ability to move by himself coz he had a stroke, his dignity, his pain, i really cannot decide for him, so i told myself "e decision lies w him, no matter wat is his final decision, i respect it"...i cried in the hospital but i din shed a single tear during his wake...why? Coz i promised to let him see my most happy self so that he can go in peace...i know i scared my parents and relatives when i behave this way...i din really talk during his wake...din smiled, juz sat at e corner, folding e papers...sounds normal but too normal since they know im v close to him...
The dream of driving him ard w my car when i grow up and get my licence will nv be realised...but this is life...e reality of life...some things r juz beyond our ctl...like wat a close frenz told mi "in order to survive, you hv to climb up e corporate ladder"...do u know how i hated growing up, how i feared dat i wun b able to handle all those responsibilities...i dunno wat my path will lies ahead but perhaps whatever will b, will b...Que sera sera...b happy grandpa-s...happy new year to u...bless me and guide me as i step into a brand new world in a few mths time k
New Year is coming again...suddenly somehow i recall both of my grandpa passed away near new year and nxt wk i would b gg to e temple for my paternal grandpa's anniversary...time flies...years passed...to be honest, i dunno how long it was...perhaps in my mind, i refuse to think abt it coz it nv fails to sadden me when i tot of it...
actually i was closer to my maternal grandpa...it was painful to lose him but then it hurts to see him in tubes too...did i regret? i shld hv prayed for him to tide through e ordeal like how i prayed during his first admittance to NUH...i din coz it was too much of a responsibility for me at that time...he would hv lose the ability to move by himself coz he had a stroke, his dignity, his pain, i really cannot decide for him, so i told myself "e decision lies w him, no matter wat is his final decision, i respect it"...i cried in the hospital but i din shed a single tear during his wake...why? Coz i promised to let him see my most happy self so that he can go in peace...i know i scared my parents and relatives when i behave this way...i din really talk during his wake...din smiled, juz sat at e corner, folding e papers...sounds normal but too normal since they know im v close to him...
The dream of driving him ard w my car when i grow up and get my licence will nv be realised...but this is life...e reality of life...some things r juz beyond our ctl...like wat a close frenz told mi "in order to survive, you hv to climb up e corporate ladder"...do u know how i hated growing up, how i feared dat i wun b able to handle all those responsibilities...i dunno wat my path will lies ahead but perhaps whatever will b, will b...Que sera sera...b happy grandpa-s...happy new year to u...bless me and guide me as i step into a brand new world in a few mths time k
i look upon the moon and stars at Saturday, January 19, 2008
0 stars were shining bright even without the moon
0 stars were shining bright even without the moon