Thursday, 2 April 2009
Life
These few days I am busy with my family matters...a lot of mixed emotions i would say...
The ironic thing is if pple do not ask, I am ok and fine...but if pple do ask or mention, tears start forming...dont ask me why, emotions are nv rational...
I am grateful for my boss's understanding and I know why he wanted me to go on leave instead of still reporting to wrk...somehow I still feel apologetic to my manager as my current engagement is a rush one...but my boss feels that it is fine as we cant proceed with much things given that these few days the client is still rushing for closing...so the shiong wk will be nxt wk and over the wkends...
Frankly, my boss's wrds somehow made me feel kind of ashamed of myself...although I nv meant to put my wrk in front of my family but somehow it seems that what I am doing is so...and that is exactly the kind of expression that my dad gave me that day when I asked if I could still go wrk and come after wrk but ensuring that I will reach on time for the ritual session...
To be honest, I thought that is the best way to juggle btw my wrk and family...as that is e perfect plan...not missing the ritual and yet not neglecting my job...but somehow my boss and dad's expression and wrds seems to give me the feeling that I am not prioritising things properly, or rather I am still immature to know which is more impt priority...
I nv like that feeling...it is my 4th time so far...i am only gg 24 but yet I have to undergo this 4 times...it is nv easy each time...consoling pple is nv my forte and i nv like to talk to others about such things...it is just some feelings that cannot be explained as it would only be felt if you went through it...
all I can say that at least she is not suffering anymore...i cannot imagine being her in the hospital that day...i am sure she was feeling very terrible...however, sadly to say, science is still not that advanced to release her from her suffering...i guess this is e only way she was being relieved...rest in peace, will you?
See all of you-s when we meet again...thanks for all that u all have done for my life, be it small or big and sorry for times when I have not been a good grand-daughter...
The ironic thing is if pple do not ask, I am ok and fine...but if pple do ask or mention, tears start forming...dont ask me why, emotions are nv rational...
I am grateful for my boss's understanding and I know why he wanted me to go on leave instead of still reporting to wrk...somehow I still feel apologetic to my manager as my current engagement is a rush one...but my boss feels that it is fine as we cant proceed with much things given that these few days the client is still rushing for closing...so the shiong wk will be nxt wk and over the wkends...
Frankly, my boss's wrds somehow made me feel kind of ashamed of myself...although I nv meant to put my wrk in front of my family but somehow it seems that what I am doing is so...and that is exactly the kind of expression that my dad gave me that day when I asked if I could still go wrk and come after wrk but ensuring that I will reach on time for the ritual session...
To be honest, I thought that is the best way to juggle btw my wrk and family...as that is e perfect plan...not missing the ritual and yet not neglecting my job...but somehow my boss and dad's expression and wrds seems to give me the feeling that I am not prioritising things properly, or rather I am still immature to know which is more impt priority...
I nv like that feeling...it is my 4th time so far...i am only gg 24 but yet I have to undergo this 4 times...it is nv easy each time...consoling pple is nv my forte and i nv like to talk to others about such things...it is just some feelings that cannot be explained as it would only be felt if you went through it...
all I can say that at least she is not suffering anymore...i cannot imagine being her in the hospital that day...i am sure she was feeling very terrible...however, sadly to say, science is still not that advanced to release her from her suffering...i guess this is e only way she was being relieved...rest in peace, will you?
See all of you-s when we meet again...thanks for all that u all have done for my life, be it small or big and sorry for times when I have not been a good grand-daughter...
i look upon the moon and stars at Thursday, April 02, 2009
0 stars were shining bright even without the moon
0 stars were shining bright even without the moon